Things I'm Learning - A-B-Cs

 image credit: google search a-b-c worksheet cbt

Earlier we discussed identifying emotions.  Now, we will look at how they relate to thinking and actions.

Stuck points are conflicting beliefs or strong negative beliefs that create unpleasant emotions and problematic or unhealthy behavior.  Stuck points may conflict with prior beliefs or be reinforced by an event.  You can see examples here and here.  You will find that in the worksheet below, if "B" is unrealistic, it is probably a stuck point.

Some of the stuck points I found I have -
I let people down.
I should have known better.
I can't do anything right.
My ideas are stupid.

You can become more aware of the connection between events and your thoughts, feelings, and actions by doing the exercise outlined in the A-B-C Worksheet.  Writing down your experience provides a way to make your thoughts more concrete and holds your actions more accountable.  You do not have to share, but keep in mind that the questions at the bottom are to help you realize if there is any problematic thinking involved.  For example, to determine if your beliefs are realistic, what would your friend say?  Would it hold up in court?  Try not to judge yourself, this is a learning experience.

   image credit: google search a-b-c worksheet cbt

An example -

Activating event - I build a porch and the railing comes loose.

Belief - I can never do anything right.

Consequence - I get angry and kick the railing.  I also feel down and sad because I can't do anything right.

Are my thoughts above in "B" realistic?  No.  It wouldn't hold up in a court of law, because I do SOME things right.

What can I tell myself on such occasions in the future?  There are some things that I do all right.  It is not true that I 'never' do anything right.

One of my worksheets -

A - My friend was hurt.

B - I failed my friend.

C - I feel horrible, ashamed and depressed.

Are my thoughts above in "B" realistic? No.  I cannot control others.  I was not in the situation.

What can I tell myself on such occasions in the future?  I can share experiences, offer advice, but I shouldn't dwell on others choices or experiences.  If asked, I can comfort, offer guidance to help fix a situation.  Remember, it was not my situation.  I do make mistakes, but I also do a lot of things right.  I cannot bubble wrap or control situations to protect others or prevent things from happening.  I can only control myself.